Stiff

[lifetaketwo]

Had a real hard time getting up this morning. Not sure if it was the dark, or the cold, or my unwillingness to face another dreary day of work, but I lay in bed too long debating whether or not to call in sick, and then finally hauled myself up and into the bathroom. The kids were already up. I don't ever remember being up before my mother when I was in school. Then again, she was a teacher and up by 5:30 every morning.

 

Larry didn't sleep over last night. He usually does on Sunday nights, but last night he went back to his own house, leaving me lying on the bed huddled under my pale yellow fleece blanket watching "Rock of Love." I woke up at 12:30 and turned off the light and the TV and the space heater, got under the covers and went back to sleep. Not well, mind you. Woke up a few times when the upstairs neighbors started their nocturnal stomping.

 

Still very stiff and sore, especially across the shoulders, but my back is aching, too. Could be all the holiday driving I did from CT to NY, or yesterday from CT to MA and back, or the fact that I slept on the couch Saturday night. My own bed, and I extricated myself from it. My feelings were hurt. We had gone out to dinner and a movie and when we got home, Larry took a shower. I waited for him and watched "Save The Last Dance" and finally knocked on the bathroom door to see what was taking so long. He likes to watch me put on makeup but does not like to be watched as he combs his hair, a fact I was reminded of as he physically pushed me out the door. I went back and lay on the bed and waited some more and got very irritated when he thought maybe stroking me would substitute for an apology. And then he got irritated with me when I wanted to talk about it. So I left shortly after 2 a.m., moved to the couch and stayed there, watched infomercials and pouted. At 7:30 I went back to bed (he was still sleeping) and stayed there until about noon. Then I got up and said nothing to him…for the entire day. We drove to MA in silence except for the radio and my Melissa Etheridge CD. I think he was grateful when the kids were in the car and he had someone to talk to.

 

Today he has called me twice, right on schedule, and I'm talking to him because you can't give someone the silent treatment forever. My mother used to do that to me when she wasn't screaming at me. But I'm sticking to my guns about my new policy, and I'm not going to tell him about it, but I'll post it here to remind myself: Play hard to get. Men like the chase.

 

I'm happy that I only have another hour or so to go at work, because I'm not in a good mood. I don't want to sit in the Fish Bowl today; I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me. Which, of course, is total paranoia. Got testy with a mild-mannered rep for not supplying needed info on a request form, and annoyed with the typical stupidity that usually amuses me. Some days I don't feel like performing a service job and being held to a deadline. Especially while everyone else walks around drinking coffee, gossiping, and not making phone calls.

Comments

[shesingsnow.livejournal.com]

Dreary. There's a word.

::kicks Larry::

[shesingsnow.livejournal.com]

half my phone calls - more than half - didn't go through today, so I gave up. Screw it.